Is the emotional robot vacuum running your daily life?
We are not born believing that we are “not enough.” The concept is foisted upon us, often by well-meaning individuals inadvertently pushing their emotional childhood trauma onto us, and some of the negative beliefs we hold about ourselves were collected from individuals who are, let’s face it, jerks!
From the time we are born, our true Self believes we are inherently worthy of living. As babies, we cried to be nourished and soothed, as toddlers, we ran with confidence, often falling and giggling at our predicament, never thinking we weren’t worthy to ask for our essential needs to be met. Somewhere along the line, from toddlerhood to adulthood, the emotional robot vacuum took off.
Just like the little robot vacuum that prowls the corners of our dwelling for dust bunnies and the occasional— “oops, I forgot to take the puppy out,” our emotional robot vacuums collect emotional garbage and download it to our brains. Here we developed beliefs about ourselves filled with shame and doubt that built over time, often through internalized and repeated themes such as “I will be alone forever,” “I’m unlovable,” “I always make a mess of things,” and “everyone leaves me.” The emotional robot vacuum continues to run in the recesses of our mind to pick up these messages and repeatedly download them into our brains, resulting in shame—conditional self-worth, depression, and emotional distress.
The garbage the emotional robot vacuum collected is a set of false belief systems we hold and, unfortunately, subscribe to to our own detriment. The good news is that belief systems CAN CHANGE!
The difficult news to hear is that it’s not easy to change these inner dialogues or belief systems.
People often reach out to therapists when their emotional robot vacuum is full, and they just don’t know how to turn it off, empty it, or redirect it.
Choosing the right therapist is essential. A skilled clinician can help you explore these themes and assist you in shutting down the emotional rumba. Together with your therapist, you can work on developing and strengthening skills, including self-compassion, to sift through and empty the contents of the emotional robot that no longer serve you—if they ever did. A skilled therapist will walk you through developing your own belief system based on truths you explore in session. Consistent attendance in therapy and emotional hard work, you can form a new inner dialogue that is far less critical and more compassionate, resulting in improved life satisfaction, reduced anxiety, and improved relationships.
The hard work is worth the result, a renewed sense of Self.
Best,
Marty
